


There is a Manual for Everything

by ilsane



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dirk is a dork, Embarrassment, M/M, Sloppy Makeouts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 17:54:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4314750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilsane/pseuds/ilsane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are cleaning out your workshop when you stumble across an old book</p>
            </blockquote>





	There is a Manual for Everything

There is not much to robots; they are rather easy to figure out. If a part didn’t fit right or a wire was connected improperly it was rather easy to fix. People on the other hand are rather complex. There isn’t a manual on how to act around people like a robot, and it could be rather confusing. However there is one person you always find joy in figuring out.

You are Dirk Strider and you are cleaning your workshop, since there is quite a bit of clutter in the room that had accumulated over time, mostly robot scraps. Picking up scraps of metal to, wiring, and random trash you put the unwanted scraps in a box for sorting later.

You moved to your desk, which was rather cluttered as well, you begin looking through the old blue prints putting the uncompleted ones in the trash, and stacking the finished ones to in a neat pile on your desk. Looking at the other layer of papers on the desk there was a notebook hidden in the mess. Grabbing it underneath the papers it was an old green manual. It was one you probably made a long time ago, turning it over you realized what it was making you chuckle to yourself.

The cover read “Everything You Need to Know About Jake English”. You made this a little while after you first started dating Jake. Laughing at your self you couldn’t help but wonder what you wrote in this thing to begin with.

The first chapter read, “What are his interests.”

These are things that Jake English loves to do explore, hand guns, skulls, and animals. Always try to follow him on his shenanigans, because this will make him very happy. It guarantees fun times for the both of you, if the two of you don’t get into deep shit. Also note that if you turn your back from him for a second there is a high probability that some sort of shenanigan will happen.

You could help but laugh at the summary, since it’s still true. The two of you go on adventures from time to time, and it always lands the two of you into some trouble. You flipped to the next chapter.

Chapter two “How to take care of him.”

When taking care of Jake there are many things you need to consider. One he’s always jumping around outside make sure he has lots of water. Also he’ll need sunscreen don’t want him to get a sunburn or skin cancer. He may need some bandages to since he likes to rough house.

NOTE DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT FEED THE KID ANY PEANUT PRODUCTS OF ANY SHAPE, FORM, OR KIND. THE STUFF IS POISON TO HIM!!!!!!!!

There isn’t much to say to that chapter you don’t already know. You thought as you flipped to the next summary.

Chapter 3 “When he is feeling sad.”

If he is feeling sad try to make it better by giving him major cuddles, and kisses. He will appreciate the affection and reciprocate. Then put on one of his favourite movies, and bring out some ice cream to cheer him up. If he is open to talking about the issue that is making him sad, listen and cuddle if needed.

Note he loves to cuddle anyway so if you have any chance to cuddle take it, also slip in some tender kisses.

After reading that chapter, you laugh man you are such a dork. There was a little thing called space and Jake English did need some from time to time. You understood that now since there is time you needed some alone time to. Though you two don’t do alone time too often since you guys are more comfortable now, than hen you started dating.

You flip to the next chapter. Chapter 4 “What are his spots”

Jake English is a rather sensitive individual so knowing his “good spots” will when you affection points. Especially when you two are having sex. Each spot has a different reaction. Here is the list of places you and the corresponding reactions.

Nipping his ear will cause him to gasp, and lean shudder.

A soft kiss on the lips will cause impairment of speech.

An opened mouth kiss will cause him to be weak in the knees and a resting surface is needed, preferably a bed.

The junction between his neck and shoulder will cause him to shudder.

His-

Midway reading through the chapter a door of your workshop swung open, it revealed the Brit himself.

“Hey Dirk I thought I drop by and see how’s the cleaning going. What’s that you go there?” his green eyes shifted from you to the old manual you were reading. His eye widen, must have read the title and you both turned a shade of red.

“What this old thing, it’s nothing, just a book. You know what book right.” you fumble on your words as he approaches you and picking the book right out of your hands. You try to get the book out of his hands, but it’s too late he read it. Fuck, is repeat in your head over and over again.

His face turns beet red, and he is shaking, you take this opportunity to slap the book out of his hands, and it broke a near by window. Then ran to the same window yourself, but Jake stopped you.

“No Dirk!” he yelled as he clung onto you.

It took a good half hour to drag you into the living room setting you down on the couch, and for you to calm down. Kind of, not really you are still cursing in your head. There is an awkward silence between you two, and he finally breaks it.

“You know it’s okay Dirk, I’m flattered you would write something like that.” He said as he grabbed you hands. “I mean it shows that you care in your own special way, and I love that about you.” He smiled as he kissed your lips, which escalated into a passionate kiss.

You opened your mouth first and he took the opening to slip his tongue in taking the lead. Not for long you clash with his tongue and moved closer so you could explore his mouth. Moving your hands along his sides and up to his ears, and he shuddered leaning towards you making the kiss deeper.

You both come up for air for what seems like forever. You pushed him lightly on the couch and looked down at him, gorgeous is what you thought. Leaning down to lips pressed to his ear you whisper, “Let’s see if I remember all your good spots"


End file.
